Things that drive me nuts about living in SK. (inspired by Ms.Hunter)

As much as I love the weather, my man, the kids I teach. Oh yeah….I am teaching preschool, massive amounts of screaming little children.But anyway, not the point of this post.

 

Things I dont like about living here:

- Well religious intolerance for one. Its difficult when 98% of people are some form of Christian and 99% of those people like to shove it down someones throat. I really dont care what religion people are as long as they dont tell me mine is wrong constantly. And no I am not Christian but that doesnt mean I dont have respect for people who are.

-Blatant racism. It pisses me off to no end. Here there are only whites and gypsies and most of the time they hate each other. I miss Long Beach massively in relation to this issue. We have so many different cultures and for the most part they get along. I miss Wilson and hanging out with people different from me. I miss Mr.Smith and his tolerance camps. My heart skipped a beat when I saw a black man on the street. He´s married to a woman from here. But at that point it was nice to see someone who looked different from me. When I look at a person I dont see color, I see someone who has opinions and values that maybe differ from mine which just makes me want to get to know that person more.

-Gossip This is a hot button topic for me because I hate it. I hate how the only entertainment here is talking shit about people. I can go from one edge of town to the other and hear so much shit talked about me from people I have never met in my life. Doesnt help that walking from one edge of town to the other only takes me an hour or so. Yeah, small ass little town in the middle of buttF**K nowhere.

-Food. I hate potatoes and tomatoes and OCD prevents me from eating a lot of food. I miss sushi and pad thai. Foods that I´d have to go attempt to find in a nearby country. Its difficult. There are times (weeks) when Im surviving on popcorn and bananas. Though I recently spent the night in the hospital for stomach issues so that kinda kicked my ass into shape and I will be eating better and more often.

I do love the nature and the fact that I get all four full blown seasons. I love my man and my job. I love the clean air, the nearby mountains, the sometimes annoying way the sun shines in my window in the morning with no hint of smog. I love the fact that most people here have food gardens and eat natural produce, I love the fact that the values here are less materialistic and more family oriented. Its difficult for me to be here but at the same time I love it. Im not the type of person to stay tied to one place so I know that when things are more money stable Long Beach will be often graced by my presence. :P

Special thanks to Ms.Hunter, who even though we havent talked since high school has an inspiring soul and is a wonderful person to get to know all over again.

 

My experiences with past lifes

There was a time when I was actively pursuing past life regression. I wanted to know who I was before this life. My beliefs are stated in the previous post.

I was a part of a part life regression ritual when I was still in HS. I remember laying back and relaxing. Then images came into my head and I could see a peasant women, mid 20s maybe with an apron full of herbs running away from a man on a horse that was chasing her. She fell and I woke up.

Sometimes she’s a recurring dream, other times I just find myself thinking about her out of nowhere.

In the car a few days ago Martin and I were talking. He asked me to compare him to someone in the “middle ages” and I asked him to go first. He said a ” village healer woman” and I immediately thought of my past life.

Id love to go back to that and see if I cant find out  more, sadly there is only one person I’d trust to guide me through a state like that again and hes in a different country than I am. So I suppose thats going to have to be put on hold for right now.

A conversation and musings…

I was having a conversation with someone very dear to me. She´s been through a lot and I proud to say I love her. We were talking among other things about out ideas on death and reincartion. We were both sorta Wiccan once. We´re both sorta pagan now. I identify as an eclectic pagan. My original idea of reincaration was that when one is in another life if they choose to search for their past life and if the past life chooses to show itself the person will learn of it. After she had talked to her significant other about it (hes a Druid) he put in in a way I hadnt thought about but realize that it is a more comforting and logical way of thinking about it.

It goes like this: “That when we die, we become enlightened, and we see all our past lives. Then we decide what we want to experience next.”

 

Im not entirely sure about the enlightened part but I do believe we reach a higher state, I just dont know if I would go so far as to call it enlightenment. But otherwise I think I completely agree with the statement but would like to add that get to know your past lives you would have a make an effort to search for them. Tonight I´ll write a post about my experience searching for past lives.

Im back!

After just giving up on blogging due to stress and lack of time I realize its because Im not blogging that Im stressed out. So here I am…back again.

Um…..I dont know where to start.

Martin asked me to marry him and I said yes. Im working back where I was before, in marketing. Im also looking into teaching English at pre-schools.

There was a submissive journal prompt I want to share with you guys…

Where do you see yourself in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

A year from now Id love to be back in school and also teaching pre-school at the same time. I wasnt to be working in a field that I enjoy instead of the random stuff I do now. I want to be planning my wedding, saving up for the future with my wonderful man. I want to see how this sex toy reviewer thing works out for me. Just signed up at Eden Fantasys today.

Five years from now, I want to be a wife and a mother. I want a baby girl first, so I can dress her up and brush her hair. It might sound old fashioned but I cant wait to be the stay at home mom. Cooking dinner so its ready for when my husband gets home. Taking care of our baby. Im ready for this stuff, now its just a matter of planning and saving up the money to support ourselves.

Ten years from now I want to be in a house with my family, working and traveling. I want to be able to be proud of the things Ive accomplished and be able to visit the States at least twice a year.

So those are my goals. :)

March

March is Question and Answer month according to the blogs Ive been catching up on…..so here goes…complete honest….ask and I shall answer. Eventually Ill also update you all as to what exactly has been going on. :)

Absolutely Honored!

Im speechless, utterly in shock…..with major feelings of honored-ness. :) See theres this blog….I reads it. Sometimes even multiple times a day to see if she posted. http://pawprintsinslavery.com/

And today, as I was just scrolling down the page I noticed a list of blogs she reads…..guess who’s on it?! ME! Like seriously I got up and started bouncing I was so happy. I dont update nearly often enough and honestly she’s unknowingly my bloggy mentor. Writes almost every day and its always interesting. I feel like I know her and her Husband. I wanna blog like that! BTW….adorable new shoes hun!

So anyway….heres an update.

Im working at a sports hall/restaurant place. Marketing manager is the official title. Mostly designing adverts and working on getting people to know what we offer and get us noticed in town. Its pretty fun and Im enjoying it. Sucks that I dont have set hours so Im always there longer than I should really be. New goal for this week is actually working steadily at work so I get shit done and can go home. It would be nice to get home in time for CSI lol. thats 2 pm lol.

On the boyfriend front Im going to meet his parents tommorow. I dont know how to feel, or even prepare. I got a cute candle on a even cuter stand as an “Hi im your sons girlfriend that he hasnt told you about” gift. In case no ones following this drama….and I havent really asked him about it. I think they liked her…..the ex. And well…he left her after five years and an engagement so….yeah…I have a lot of stuff to live up to. Cool thing is his brother’s pretty awesome and I think I’ll be hanging out with the two of them all day anyway.

FetLife Give-away

I entered a giveaway on a website Im registered on….so here’s a shameless plug!!

www.fetlife,com

Its pretty much a kinky version of Myspace/Facebook but with many better perks…CHECK IT OUT!

Novica

I have a new goal….its kind of a late starting one but here goes….I want to buy all the Christmas presents I intend to give from here. http://www.novica.com/ [again with the me not remembering how to post in links to stuff...I'll figure it out eventually]

Its a website that is in association with National Geographic. It sells things made by artisans from all over the world.

Their Mission:

“We want to give artists and artisans around the world a global platform to express their true artistic talents and to spur their creativity. And, we want to provide you with access to unique, hard-to-find items at great values that only the Internet infrastructure can allow.

At the deepest essence of our philosophy, we want to create a bridge between you and the many talented artisans across the globe.

We want you to know about who you’re buying from. We want you to feel that attachment to the product and to the hands that created it.”

They essentially cut out the middle man and let these artist from remote villages and small towns in the middle of nowhere sell their creations to the whole world. They are then allowed to make more money to support their families and we can buy one of a kind things made by their hands, coming from their inspiration. They get to read comments left by people who have bought their things and feel a connection with those people. I urge you guys, people reading my blog to check the site out.

A fic I wrote a while back.

To My Willow, Happy Birthday.

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she’s not breathing?
Hello I’m your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello

When Tara died, it broke her apart, the magicks go too much to handle but she knew just who to go to. Spike. Willow didn’t speak when she walked into his crypt, knew she didn’t need words with him, he’d always somehow understood. The few steps it took to come in front of him strengthened her courage and she leaned up and captured his mouth in a searing kiss, needing the darkness inside of him to envelop her, and hide her away.

If I smile and don’t believe
Soon I know I’ll wake from this dream
Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken
Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide
Don’t cry

He didn’t want to think about the reason she was here, didn’t want to overanalyze the reason the girl of his undead dreams was kissing him right then, and with so much need. Spikes fingers tangled in her hair and he deepened the kiss, pressing against her. She only pushed him away when she needed to breathe, her eyes meeting his for the first time in a while. They betrayed her raw need to feel something, and her trust that he wouldn’t try to fix it, he would just make her feel again. He’d seen that look before, remembered what it felt like to lose Liam, he knew what she needed and as much as it hurt him to comply, he knew he’d give it to her.

He nodded even though he knew he didn’t need to and led her to his bed. She didn’t even tremble as she sat at the edge of it, looking up at him with wide eyes.  “Hurt me…please.” Her voice was hoarse from crying but he heard and understood her plea. His hands pushed her to a laying position on the bed and he heard the gasp of breath leave her lungs. Kicked off his boots on the way to the bed, moving catlike toward her, their eyes locking. He knew she was afraid but that she needed this more than anything. His heart broke into a million pieces as he took her, knowing full well he was just a means to an end.

Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping
Hello I’m still here
All that’s left of yesterday

It was exactly what she had needed. It kick started her will to live. It had been weeks before she’d go to him again, and again, addicted to the pain that made her feel alive.

a couple pictures

Just a few pictures….